"The Human Centipede" Gives New Meaning to "Kiss My Ass"

So, I have to admit, yesterday was the first time I have seen "The Human Centipede." 

The plot: An achieved doctor known for his work in separating siamese twins at birth also is a mad scientist.  He is obsessed with conjoining human beings at the anus and the mouth; thus, making a 'human centipede.'  

One cold and raining night two American tourists in Germany (or at least a German speaking country) are driving their rental car.  They become lost on a dark and desolate road at which point their car gets a flat tire.  Neither one of the two girls know how to fix a flat tire.  They try to call the rental car place in order to have someone pick them up or fix the flat tire; however, there is no cell phone signal.  They begin to walk on the dark and desolate road, but somehow end up in the forest.  

They stumble upon a house, it begins to rain, and they bang on the door until you know who answers: the mad scientist.  He invites them in and offers them water.  They accept.  The mad scientist slips the date rape drug into their waters.  The drink the waters and pass out accordingly.  The mad scientist drags them to his "layer" and ties them to hospital gurneys.   

The mad scientist then obtains one more person, a Japanese fellow, and ties him to a hospital gurney in his "layer" next to the two American tourists.

The mad scientist then performs and operation wherein he sews one of the American girls' face, mouth open, to the anus of the Japanese guy.  The mad scientist, then, sews the other girl's face, mouth open, to the anus of the first American girl; thus, creating an ass-to-mouth 'human centipede.' You can infer the consequences of such a configuration; so, I'll let your imagination do that work.

The rest of the movie is about the doctor trying to condition, like one would do with a dog, the 'human centipede.'  

The Recommendation:

Strange movie to say the least.  I do not recommend it for anybody with a weak stomach or anyone who is not experienced in watching horror movies that push the boundaries of what can be done in the name of entertainment.  There really is not too much overt gore; however, there need not be because our imaginations are able to pick up on the pungent horrificness going on within the film.

I do recommend this movie for the experienced horror movie enthusiast.  This movie is especially suited for those who enjoy watching a film that takes you into the deep recesses of what the human psychology can label as 'enjoyable,' 'entertainment,' or even 'art.'  There is definitely some thoughtful debates about what counts as 'art' to be had after one views this film.  Those folks who are interested in that kind of debate are more likely than not going to appreciate this film rather than your average person who likes the occasional 'scary' flick.

"The Human Centipede" as of 2/6/2016 is available on Netflix.

I plan on watching "The Human Centipede 2" within the next couple of days.  So, stay tuned for a run down on that one, and a comparison to the first.

Let us know what you thought about "The Human Centipede" in the comment section.

Resurrecting a comedy classic: Tropic Thunder

Booty sweat, bust-a-nut-bar, Robert Downey Jr. acting in black face, Ben Stiller going full retard, Tom Cruise behaving like a raging hairy (why is he so fucking hairy?) psychopath.  This movie came out in 2008 but, is nonetheless, still hilarious and worth another watch or a first for those who have not seen it.

The plot, without any spoilers, is as follows: five actors, Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, Jay Baruchel, and Brandon Jackson play the roles of five melodramatic and abysmal actors making a Vietnam war film based on a Vietnam veteran's war experience.  The five actors, after failing to cooperate with their director on scene, are dropped off in the Vietnam jungle and told to follow a map to a location where they will be evacuated from the jungle.  Along their journey, the five man platoon is supposed to encounter simulated wartime explosions, gunfire, and other battle like activities.  However, they are lead off course and Stiller is captured by a gang of Vietnamese drug lords.  The rest are left to fend for themselves in the jungle dealing with Jack Black's character going through heroin withdraw, and Downey Jr.'s character alienating Jackson's character (a black guy by nature) by staying in character as black face, among other things.

This movie is a comedy through and through and not meant to be any kind accurate telling of the Vietnam War or a depiction of true events.  Although there is some blood, guts, and gore, it is related to the shenanigans that these characters find themselves engaged in due to their own dumb-ass antics, not because of any meaningful battles during the Vietnam War.  This is not a Saving Private Ryan or We Were Soldiers type movie so do not come into it thinking it is.

For those of you who have not seen it, I highly recommend this movie if you are not uber-sensitive to people making fun of mentally retarded folks or have low tolerance for race induced humor.  For those of you who have seen it, then I recommend watching it again because, simply put, it's freaking hilarious.  I would almost go as far to say that Robert Downey Jr. should have won an award for his performance because how many other actors can do black face and get away with it without being chastised and publicly ruined for it?

Anyway, let us know what you thought about this movie in the comment section below.

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0942385/?ref_=nv_sr_1

'The Guest' movie review & recommendation

Actor Dan Stevens, most notably from the television show Downton Abbey, plays David in this psychological thriller.  The premise of this movie is as follows: David arrives at the home of a deceased soldier, whom David claims he served with in the military, and is greeted by the deceased soldier's grieving family consisting of a father, mother, brother, and sister .   David explains to the family of the deceased soldier that his dying words were for David to reach out to his family and simply let them know the soldier loved them very much.  The mother initially suggests that David stay in their home while David search for a more permanent situation.  After the father learns of the invitation, there is a scuffle between the mother and father as to the arrangements offered to David.  Eventually, the father concedes and extends the invitation for David to stay; David accepts.

The brief summary of the happenings in the very first moments of the film seem quite mundane and undramatic.  However, I must say that the acting by Stevens playing the character of David is, from the very outset of the movie, in a word: creepy.  Not overtly creepy like Jack Nicholas in The Shinning , but much more subtle like when the high E string is plucked on a guitar that is slightly out of tune; it's disturbing to the ear but not enough to make one cringe.  David's stature, square jaw, piercing blue-eyes, calming voice, and aloof personality in conjunction with his polite demeanor and overall charisma make David a complex character.  When David's character is viewed in the context of the scene describe above, one can easily infer that there is more to the story than David is letting on.   David's persona, throughout the entire film, has calming yet unnerving effect in every situation, which makes earns the film its 'psychological' piece of psychological thriller.  I would venture to say that if Stevens' acting was not on point for this film, then I would not have bothered to watch it or recommend anybody else watch it.

So, in order to not give any spoilers, I shall simply summarize the rest of the story just enough to where you can make an informed decision about whether to give it chance or not.  David infiltrates the deceased soldier's household and begins develop relationship with the members of the soldier's family.  David, furthermore, becomes the healing presence for the family's grief, but simultaneously being an object of skepticism.  The plot is ingrained in David's ability to befriend the members of the deceased soldiers family: the brother, who has a tendency to be the object of others' ridicule and aggression, ally with the daughter, who is still in adolescent stage of life wherein the consequences of life have not set in, the mother, who has just lost a son and is ignored by the father, and the father, who is an alcoholic drinking to suppress whatever pity he may have for himself.  These relationships are crucial to David's intentions and thus have significant importance in how the story-line plays itself out.

There are, of course, twists and turns within the plot.  Some of which will be anticipated by the viewer who is a frequent watcher of this genre of film.  However, there is one plot twist that is especially noteworthy (I will not detail it any further) and almost changes the direction of the entire film.  I caution the viewer of this not to spoil anything, but to exploit a potential hiccup in the film's plot that may leave the viewer with a bad taste in their mouth.  There is some gore involved but nothing over the top.  The film proceeds at a steady pace most of the time; however, there are scenes that seem to drag on longer than necessary where a shorter scene could be just as effective.  Overall, it's a decent film for those who like character development depth (nothing too deep though)  and appreciate a manipulative plot with some action scenes thrown in for good measure.

I am interested in reading future comments about what everybody thinks who has either seen this movie or sees it in the future with regards to their reaction toward the ending.  Particularly, I am interested in reading thoughts on the response to this question: Did the ending make or break the movie?

This movie as of 1/17/2016 is still available on Netflix for those of you who hold a subscription.

The Revenant: Review and Recommendation

DiCaprio plays a man named Hugh Glass who is on an Alaskan expedition in the 1800's.  The movie begins with a battle scene between White people and a group of Native Americans, who the White people call tree niggers.  The battle forces DiCaprio and those in his group, who are still alive, to retreat from the area and move to another.  During the move, DiCaprio is viciously attacked by a Grizzly Bear impaling him to the point of near death.  DiCaprio is then lugged around by his fellow frontiersmen until the group must climb a mountain and carrying DiCaprio becomes unfeasible.  Three of DiCaprio's fellow frontiersmen, one being his son, volunteer to carry DiCaprio to a separate location until reinforcements arrive with suitable resources for dealing with the injured man.  During the time in which Dicaprio's character is under the watch of his son and the other two frontiersmen, some events unfold (I will not say what for spoilers sake) and DiCaprio is left for dead.

Since I do not want to provide any spoilers, I will merely provide a general summation of what happens next.  DiCaprio's character, after regaining his physical strength from the bear attack and being left for dead, sets out on what can only be described as a willful mission to find one person.  Along the way, DiCaprio faces what seems at times to be insurmountable obstacles such as: surviving the bitter cold Alaskan tundra, starvation, dehydration, attacks by Native Americans, and much more.   The audience is treated to a detailed viewing of one man's ability to survive and persevere with no means of support other than what is provided by the natural environment.  DiCaprio's character must resort to near primitive acts of survival such as eating bone marrow from a rotting carcass, gutting a horse and sleeping in it's body cavity for warmth, and eating live fish and raw buffalo meat.  The struggle for survival from DiCaprio's character is enough to keep anyone on the edge of their seat.

This film is full of action and suspense.  The suspense is mostly derived from not knowing whether DiCaprio's character is going to live from one moment to the next because he has so many harrowing events happen to him.  Moreover, there is quite a bit of gore in this movie which intensifies the elements of suspense.  Although there are plenty of action scenes, the film does have a few scenes that are slow and seemingly drag on longer than they needed to.  However, if you appreciate the scenery and aesthetics of the Alaskan wilderness, then you might not mind the scenes that allow the viewer to take it all in.

I recommend this movie to anyone who has the patience to sit through a detailed telling of one man's struggle and will to survive in the hostile Alaskan wilderness.  It helps if one continuously asked themselves throughout the film what he/she would do in DiCaprio's situation?  While the motivation behind DiCaprio's will to survive is nothing new to storytelling, it does provide the viewer an opportunity to empathize with the main character and know the lengths one will go to in order to achieve goal.  I do not recommend this movie for people who are turned off by intense situations as this film is very detailed and spares the viewer no time to collect themselves emotionally from one scene to the next.  Also, if one is turned off by gore and other violent antics, I do not recommend this movie for that individual.

Let us know what you thought about the movie in the comment section!

The Perfect Host (A Hidden Gem)

For those of us who use Netflix or any other kind of streaming service, we are all too familiar with taking a chance on a movie and it turning out to be awful.  Sometimes if I start a movie on Netflix and I get 20 or 30 minutes in and I'm uninterested, I'll just turn it off and do something else or find another movie.  Searching for quality movies worth investing two or even two and a half hours of our time can almost be as painful as trying to by a car (notice I said almost, buying a car is still more of a pain in the ass).  However, sometimes randomly taking a chance on a movie pays off and you actually find a good one.

In the case of The Perfect Host, the chance I took payed off big time.  This movie is by far one of the best movies I have ever seen.  The genre of movie that The Perfect Host falls under is psychological thriller mixed with elements of horror.  The twists and turns within the plot of this movie are more than likely enough to keep anyone entertained (who is interested in these genres of course).  The plot in a nutshell is difficult to put into words because I do not want to give the wrong impression about the movie or mislead anyone.  I, first and foremost, absolutely do not want to provide any spoilers because the twists built into the plot are what push this movie from good to great.  I could just be a simpleton, but the ending caught me completely off guard.

So, in light of not wanting to spoil anything for a future viewer regarding this movie, I will just say a few simple words about the plot.  Actually, using Netflix's description of the movie is sufficient, it says "A fugitive on the lam crashes a dinner party.  But he regrets it when the host has him convinced that he would have been better off hiding elsewhere."  If anyone is really interested in learning more about the plot, then go to IMDB or any other professional or amateur site and look it up.  You can also find other movie reviews sites to satisfy your curiosity.  However, I strongly suggest and recommend that anyone, who takes my recommendation at face value, not do any research on this film before you watch it.   I assure that the plot is excellent, acting is brilliant, and the twists that unfold at the end are well worth giving this film a shot.

Zombeavers: Yea, I watched it.

So, I finally gave in to Netflix's constant pestering recommendation of Zombeaevers.  The best way I can summarize this movie is to ask the question: what would Jason Voorhees do if he were a beaver?  I do not want to give any spoilers in case anybody reading this wants to give the movie a shot.  I will say that if you have an hour and seventeen minutes or so, you might want to think about trying to watch it.  But seriously, the movie does not seem to be meant for academic or professional criticism.  So, any reviews out there that try and turn this in to an academic enterprise, or apply a lot of fancy vocabulary while staring down their noses critiquing this film are going to come off as awfully pedantic and pompous (yea, kind of like that last sentence sounded).

Zombeavers is a comedy/horror movie, but weighing more heavily on comedy rather than horror.  As mentioned above, you could take any movie from the Friday the 13th franchise formula (expect Jason in space or Jason vs. Freddy) and replace Jason with raging beavers.  A group of females go to a cabin deep in the woods to party, drink, and escape their boyfriends.  A water supply is tainted with toxic sludge and beavers ingest the chemicals becoming zombeavers.  The beavers then begin to terrorize the females and everybody in the small surrounding community.  This is a summary of the plot in a nutshell without giving any spoilers to the "twists" within the plot.

The enjoyment one might receive from watching this film is not from the suspense, intensity, or any passionate love story between characters.  Instead, if you are someone who can stomach some gory scenes, laugh at the ridiculous story, and allow yourself to be entertained by crude and sophomoric humor, then you'll be just fine.  You might even recommend it to somebody else.

Oh and if you do watch it, watch the bloopers and cut scenes at the very end.  You can tell that this movie was fun for the cast to make.  

Tell us what you think in the comment section.

Link to imdb for cover photo and trailer: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2784512/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

A Different Theory of Rocky's Admission to Adonis

Rocky vs. Apollo?

Who won?

If you’re a fan of the Rocky movie series, you are more than familiar with Rocky III.  Apollo and Rocky in the same corner working together to defeat Mr. T; how epic was that?  After Rocky beat Mr. T, there was one last fight between Rocky and Apollo behind closed doors. No one knows who won that fight since the movie was released in 1982.  One could speculate either way, but most people had in the back of their minds that Rocky won that fight. With ‘Creed’ being the newest installment in the Rocky franchise (possibly a spin-off in and of itself), that long awaited question has been answered.

This movie is probably the best movie I’ve seen this year and I highly recommend that you see it yourself. That being said, I’m only going to give away one spoiler for the sake of this article.

SPOILER ALERT BELOW:


Rocky confirmed that Apollo won the fight. Even though he confirmed this to Apollo’s son, some theorists believe that he only said this to make Adonis (Apollo’s son) feel better about himself. I have a different theory.

I’ve always believed Apollo won that fight ever since I watched Rocky III and IV. When Rocky and Apollo were sprinting on the beach during the last training session in Rocky III, you could see in Apollo’s face and the way he was running that he was slowing down on purpose so Rocky could pass him. Rocky was training to defeat Mr. T who got in his head, was way stronger than him, and knocked him out in the first round. Now obviously the training paid off and his goal was met. But Apollo wasn’t out of shape, he was there with Rocky every step of the way and more. I believe that because Apollo was in better shape than Rocky, Apollo was better equipped to defeat Rocky at the end of Rocky III and in fact did defeat Rocky.

Rocky IV takes place immediately after Rocky III. No gaps in time at all and this is further evidence why I believe Apollo defeated Rocky. Apollo was so confident he could defeat the Russian because he had just defeated Rocky in their most recent bout. If Apollo had lost, I think he wouldn’t have even thought twice about challenging the Russian. Hell he probably would have told Rocky to go after him. Tell me what you think in the comments.